My Spiritual Journey

An old high school friend said one of my articles, “Reflections on Relationships,” told him of my life-long spiritual journey. “When did I begin,” he asked. Then, with humor, he added, “I hope not in high school when I was only concerned with hormones and sports.”

That gave me a chuckle, and it also made me wonder about when my journey did begin. He’s right, I thought. It’s been a life-long journey. Even as a young child I watched the stars wondering of their mystery and the unknown love I felt protected and filled me.

There have been watershed moments, times of purposeful dedication and purposely accepting the call to my serve my higher self. There have been times of knowingly jumping off the cliff into the abyss and times of great dedication and devotion. Have I lived my life in quiet contemplation and meditation? At times, yes, but…

I believe the spiritual journey asks more of us than we think we have to give and often I have banged and barged my way through life often paying a terrible price for my foolishness. Yet at other times I’ve experienced such grace I felt I could not endure for it burned away all that was unlike itself and there is an agony in that to the human being who, by our very nature, tends to cling to the familiar while our souls cry out for the adventure.

I am quieted and awed by my adventure and the movement within it even in the moments of fear. When I most want to curl up I am pried open and forced to lay awake my arms and legs and my very being stretched wide to the limits until that terrible storm that whips across my heart is stilled, and I am at peace once more. Why then, you may ask, would any human being take such a journey, and I answer, “Because we are human and it is the human experience to remember the truth of who we are—the spiritual being having the gamut of the human adventure in all its glory and gore.  

And in the end, in the end, some say, we shall all return to enfold ourselves back into the Godhead, once again become part of Prime Spirit, evolving forever, washing us all clean of pain until there is only a love so profound and perfect we only glimpse for the slightest of seconds its depth while here on Earth.

Is that then what we strive for? To reach our original home and never leave. Perhaps. But then again, perhaps we only reach there to leave again. After all, who can avoid the pull of the adventure whether it be the thrill of the open road or the unknown destination of a life around the next curve…or live…or galaxy…or next dimension.

When did I begin my spiritual journey? Have I not always been on it? Did I not come into this life already on this spiritual journey? Is this not true of all of us whether in high school where we were concerned with hormones and sports or with the mystery of the stars?

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Transgender and the Evolutionary Shift of Humans

Maybe the journey isn’t so much about becoming anything. Maybe it’s about un-becoming everything that isn’t really you so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place.Paulo Coelho

The controversary over transgender continues to grow, but are we missing something? What if we as humans are unbecoming who we think we are to become new humans? What if the transgender community is filled with people who are helping to bring forth the next human species?

Science teaches us that the male brain is different from the female brain. If someone’s brain is telling them that they are a male, but their body is that of a female, are they not a male regardless of what their body looks like?

What if, from a soul perspective, a person chose to help usher in the new evolution of humans who are non-gender specific? Might they then choose to be non-gender specific or choose a brain that is different from what the body is?

Seldom do we see aliens as gender specific. What if aliens are really humans from a future time. What if they exist in another dimension and are coming into this third-dimensional world to help us grow into greater understanding of human life?

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Dawn’s Twilight

When the dew is quivering

and the sun not yet rising

the fairies and spirits

move among the newly awakened animals

as they scamper about

and as the night creatures

find their lay-up branches

and bedding for the coming day.

The dawn comes now. It is the time before the shadows when all the earth appears to be in shadow. It is a secret time, a time when the veil between the worlds lifts and those of us with special sight see each other, perhaps not as clearly as the human eye sees in the harsher daylit world, but in the soft, wispy movements like snow caught by the wind that swirls about.

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Night’s Quiet

I feel the quiet of the night,

feel its peace.

Not even do I hear

the animals breathe.

This quiet

goes beyond

the sounds of the world.

It is the quiet

of between dimensions,

a quiet quieter than

a cat’s paws on thick carpet.

If I sit and listen I’ll hear

murmurs of another world,

the murmurs become voices.

At the same time

I hear this world

in that place beyond thought.

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Rain

Rain comes in the middle of the night

skittering down the drainpipe

like night crawlers in spring grass.

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Where the Sweetness Is

I feel the summer, hear the birds’ chirp, and taste the warmth of the wind,

A moment to savor. As I drink in the moment something opens, shifts in me.

I feel my center; I am the center of the Universe.

As I say I am it slips away, a memory now, a sweet memory.

The goldenness of the moment no longer with me, Yet I know, I know, the truth of your words, “I will find pleasure in the breath between the moments.”

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Phillip’s Wisdom on Hurtful Words

When hurtful words are thrown our way, we are learning to understand that these words have nothing to do with us. They come from the wound of the other. These words come to you that you may see them for what they are—words. You merely need to let them lay where they fall—at your feet and not in your heart. Take them into your heart and you will believe them. Let them fall at your feet and they become like dust and blow away with the wind.

When hurtful words come your way, give them back with love and compassion and a firm and gentle—and silent—resolution that says, “These words have nothing to do with me. I am a beautiful and loving person. I give and receive love in this moment in time.” Then go peacefully about your business knowing that your life is changing and changing again and with each change you are growing into the person you want to be.

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Piper Says Goodbye

Going to the doctor can be scary. Vets they call them. But I wasn’t scared.

Mom held me really close. I felt her heart beating next to mine. That took away all the scaries.

Mom told me that all I had to do was cross over the rainbow bridge. That if I looked I could see Daisy, my angel, waiting for me. And I could see Paco, my protector, and all the other furry kids waiting for me.

I did look. And I saw Daisy and Paco. And I could even see Sophie, my little Yorkie sister. She said she forgives me for taking her body from her. That was a long time ago. That was when I lived with Mommy Kim and Daddy Ron. I was a lot younger then.

Now I’m older. And I’m sick. I can’t get well. That’s why we’re at the vets. I don’t want to leave Mom. She told me she’ll be okay. She’ll miss me. But she’ll be okay.

I feel her heart beat. It feels like my heart beat. I’m getting so sleepy. I’m glad Mom’s holding me.

Oh look! It’s so bright. Look at all the colors. It’s so beautiful. Oh, there’s Daisy. And Paco. And Sophie. And so many other doggies to play with. This is going to be so much fun.

Thank you Mom! Thank you Dr. Cole. I’m so free. I’m so free.

Mom Diana

Saying goodbye to our beloved 4-legged child is not easy. But we endure. We endure, and eventually thrive, for them as much as for ourselves. They watch us from doggy heaven to make sure we keep our promise that we will be okay. We will miss them, but we will be okay.

I want to stay in bed and pull the covers over my head. I don’t. I need to be present for each and every person in my life, family, friends, clients, viewers, all who count on me. I owe my full self to the people in my life, to my writing, and most of all to me. So, I get out of bed each morning and whisper, “I love you Piper, and I am okay.”

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The Miracle of a Moment

It was in the early evening hours when Paco, my dog, and I went for a walk. As we entered the field on the other side of the woods, we stopped as the beauty of the horizon overtook us. We stood there in the open field as the final hues of the sun spread across the expanse of the snow-covered fields, and I felt my own expansion.

How far we could see! I am always surprised by this, the distance our eyes take us in winter when the farm fields are empty of growing crops.

Only the wind kept our ears company. Not even the bark of a distant dog could be heard as we stood listening to the silence.

The snow, not yet broken by the deer’s hoofs, spread out in a blue-white hue, luminous with a golden spray of the sun’s final vestige.

We stood, my dog and I, in quiet prayer, in tranquility, in beauty words can never describe. We stood in grace. And I am so grateful for these moments of my life.

It is finding the extraordinary in the ordinary that we come to know the miraculous.

I’ve come to know the miraculous on this land where I live. I know the miraculous in Paco’s eyes when he looks at me with such trust that can only come from un unfettered heart. I know the miraculous when I feel the soft fur of Sesame cat curled up next to me in the comfort of the warm blankets before dawn’s winter cold calls to us.

I know the miraculous in the flight of the great Red-Tailed Hawk and the skittering of the red squirrels as they scamper from tree to tree. I know the miraculous in the peace of the deer, their eyes jet black like the jet-black buttons on my grandmother’s dresses, facets cut like planes of depth.

I know the miraculous in the sway of the tall trees and the song of the night frogs and the crickets chirp.

I know the miraculous of each breath I take as I breathe in and breathe out, breathing that sustains this body as Paco and I look across the barren farm fields while the sun slips quietly to the other side of the horizon leaving behind its brilliance.

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Coming Home

The child

skipped through my mind

leaving a trail of uncertainty.

The grown-up one,

old and weathered beyond her age,

Chided, berated and scolded

with unbending disapproval

the experience of seeking

in a world lost.

Innocence gone

in a torrid, twisting chain,

long forgotten broken links

corroded from misuse.

Rejoice! Rejoined,

The old is as the new

like brass now polished,

the chain repaired

with grown-up wisdom

and child-like wonder;

innocence anew.

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